Thursday, March 27, 2008

20th post!

Yeah! 20 posts representing 20 counts of...stuff...happening...
To celebrate, here's a list of opinions/ideas I have.
1. Peeing in the shower is okay and should be because you can wash yourself afterwards and urine is sterile.
2. Drinks look better with umbrellas, but the wood affects the taste. Drink umbrellas should be made of biodegradeable plastic.
3. Not only do french fries taste good with ice cream, they taste better with ice cream.
4. Friends don't let friends have cameltoes.
5. Articulation is over rated. Zombies are barely articulate, but it is very clear what they want and they are very good at getting it.
6. You should be able to order how you want your bacon done at a diner the same way you order how you want your hamburger done.
7. Mass boycott of movie theater snack prices.
8. Nobody should or should not listen to any form of music based on their ethnic background. In fact, I think it takes much more courage to be a large black man who likes Britney Spears.
9. People who oppose birth control shouldn't spay their cats.
10. There should be a mattress that has the same consistency and warmth as human fat. I mean, when I hug fat people I just want to fall asleep in there.
11. Free food at the DMV. In pennsylvania, the DMV's and the government liquor stores should always ALWAYS be in the same building. Both funny and good for the economy!
12. Giant novelty foam male genetalia with #1 written on the side. Have zippers on the side so they can be attached to your fly.
13. For cats-catnip bongs so they can truly LOL.
14. Slutty cheerleaders for dog racing.
15. Ostritch shaped bendy lamps.
16. Back scratchers that don't fucking snap in half after 3 uses.
17. Life sized 13 dead end drive played with people and not pawns.
18. I think that if you have large thighs you should be given priority to sit by yourself on the train before other people sit next to you. I hate making people like that have to squish-you can't "suck in" your thigh fat. I think it should be considered a disability.
19. If you wear a kilt you are asking for it. I don't know how, or what you are asking for, but you are somehow asking for it.
20. You know how no matter good you get at something, you always know someone who is better at it? Well cheer up, because there is someone better than they are. Batman. And Batman is where that train STOPS.

1 comment:

Smitty D said...

I just discovered your page today (via the Bendis board), and I'm really enjoying it!