How many times have you wanted to have a decent comeback, but all you can manage is a half hearted FU? The art of the comeback isn't so much how much you one-up the person...sometimes you can just have a comeback that is so bizarre that it completely diffuses the original insult. When delivered quickly and confidently without stumbling, these comebacks can be just crazy enough to work. Or at the very least, get you a few laughs.
Mix and match columns A B and C, edit grammar where needed.
You can go
Oh yeah? Well (you are)
Your mom likes to
I hope you
Bury your face in
Get cornholed by
C. (the fun part...pretty much anything can go here. The drunker your agressor the weirder your comeback can be while still being succesful)
Infected pigeon anus
Vat of Crisco
I hope you get cornholed by an elephant seal.
You can go motorboat a wasp nest.
Your mom likes to manhandle Rosie O'Donnell.
Go suck on an infected pigeon anus.
You can spoon a lithuanian midget.
Shout out to readers I met at NY Comic con. Now that I know you exist I'm going to update a hell of a lot more!