Sunday, January 20, 2008

INB special Sunday edition.

I keep forgetting to post on Fridays!
Anyway, some INB's-refer to foodstuffs in more literal terms than people are willing to normally.
Hamburgers/roast beef sandwiches=Would you like some cow sandwiches?
Eggs=Fresh from the chicken's vag!
Cheese=How about some mold?
Yogurt=How about some bacteria?
Mushrooms=How about some fungus?
Wine=Care for some old grape juice?
Ham=Pig ass!
It's pretty easy to make food gross. If you are not squeamish, this is a great way to keep all of the food to yourself.
'nother INB: hum whenever you are walking somewhere, kind of like hummingbirds and bees do when they fly.
Say hi to everyone. And I DO mean everyone. But always act like you know them.
I'm also a big fan of setting up Caution signs in safe areas. Caution signs and orange cones are great resources if you can get your hands on them. More practical jokey than they are INB's, but still fun. Like just put four orange cones around a stapler in the middle of a hallway. Or put them around a cloth with something under it. People will be more likely to leave that one alone. Caution tape is great for saving yourself a seat at a coffee shop or cafeteria. But really, nothing is better than just a lone Caution sign. Keeps people on their toes, ya know?
Also when someone you don't want to talk to asks you how you are doing, just tell them it hasn't been the same since the war. Then look at something over their shoulder and start muttering under your breath. Then run at whatever it was you were looking at.

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